How to Raise Righteous Children

Another amazing blog post 

The Muslimah Mommy-How to Raise Righteous Children

Islamic Literature

How To Implement Prayer Within Your Household

I came across this lovely blog about a month ago and am kind of addicted. The posts are so relevant to a young Muslimah juggling with kids,running a home etc

Please check out this post regarding prayer.Something for the young and (g)old

The Muslimah Mommy

The Haraam Police

I follow quite a few Muslim bloggers,for various different reasons;some for their amazing fashion sense,some for inspiration and some just because of their hilarious outlook on life.

I'm not one to comment on their pictures,posts etc very often unless I feel the need to or it's something I really like.One thing I try to refrain from is commenting when I feel strongly against something. I've seen some well-intended comments regarding this and have also witnessed some disgustingly harsh,cruel,insensitive or totally unnecessary responses,sometimes all of the above in one comment.

Why fellow Muslimah's (and males,mind you!) feel the need to publicly bring down a Muslim sister is beyond me,it makes you wonder whatever happened to sisterhood and concealing another Muslims faults.I've always maintained that if you feel strongly about something,you can get your message across in a very polite manner.If the person still gets insulted,well then.

A term I've become familiar with is 'the Haraam Police' referring to those individuals,regardless of how they have put their message across,who are immediately 'atttacked' for pointing out a wrong (whether it may be or not) in something someone said,did,wore etc Islamically.

Granted,sometimes you just have to shut up and make a silent dua for the person.But after seeing a recent online argument where one sister very politely,with smiley emoticons etc pointed out something that was inappropriate for a Muslim,get smashed down by the blogger and her 'folllowers',I was slightly disgusted.
Opinions are shaped by upbringing,experiences etc.So,no two people in the world are going to agree 100% on every aspect.That's what makes us all unique.But part of been adult is respecting that the other persons opinion may differ to yours and then move on.

As Muslims,we are constantly striving to better ourselves.So when someone offers some advice,whether you agree with the advice given or not,thank the person and then do what you want with the information-discard or act upon.

The blogger was clearly peeved about been corrected and said that daily she must deal with people constantly picking on her life and finding faults.Well,you know what?Been a blogger,anonymous or not,means putting a part of your life out there,and human nature is to judge.Then came the 'HARAAM POLICE'  comments.

If you can't handle the heat,get out of the fire.And if you still want to stay,be gracious and act like a lady..Just some advice ;)

The Triple Filter Test

 

During the golden Abbasid period, one of the scholars in Baghdad, the capital of Muslim caliphate at that time, was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great scholar and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

  "Hold on a minute," the scholar replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test." 

"Triple filter?"

  "That's right," the scholar continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

  "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and.." 

"All right," said the scholar. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?" 

"No, on the contrary..."

  "So," the scholar continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?" 

"No, not really." 

"Well," concluded the scholar, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

 

"O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former)" ... (to end of surah) Hujurat 49.12

"And spy not on each other behind their backs..." (to end of surah) Hujurat 49.13

 

Praise be to Allah that we are Muslims...

Finding the One

 

By Sister Taaiebah Ebrahim

As a pretend statistician, I'll say it's statistically proven that females are more prone to being caught up in idealistic romantic notions of love especially since we tend to be more emotional beings and brainwashed by fairytales of damsel’s in distress and the knight in shining armour hype. Naturally, as a young girl, I had far too many self-edited fairytale re-runs constantly playing in my head.  My excitement was always in anticipation of when my prince would romantically woo me, with me being obviously unaware, just as it was in those fables.  

Truth be told, I was always aware that those fables were indeed far from reality, so nothing surprised me and every person seemed fairly predictable. But even so, I hoped for a miracle - someone original to sweep me off my feet.

And then I was approached…I was given the longest love letter, ever. I was flattered that Someone had taken the time to write to me and was most definitely intrigued. But - I didn't really know Him. So I thought, at least let me, hear Him out, after all, there was a great amount of effort put into this letter.

 

In all honesty, it was quite entertaining. The letter reflected warmth, beauty, bravery, it was so inspiring. It was like a dream sometimes where good battled and won over evil. There were heroes overcoming their weaknesses, there were love stories (my favourite) and other stuff, but really, the whole thing was about me. I knew this because my name was written all over the place. I was totally in tuned with the Author and was taken aback at how He knew so much about me.

Everyday I got presents from Him too. Now, I'm not the type to get bought over, but these gifts were too nice to return to sender, if you know what I mean.

So, I'd read portions of His letter everyday...and to be honest, gifts aside, He really started growing on me and the more I'd read His letter, the more attached I became to Him. Even though I didn't meet Him yet, I really started to like Him. The more I read, the more love I felt . He seemed to tick all the right boxes; He was knowledgeable, spoke about every topic relevant from animals to society and its challenges. He always made me feel so special by making reference to me, all the time. He would go on and on about how He would do anything for me… I just had to ask. So that was nice.

 

He got me thinking. I mean this was it. It's the moment we wait for our whole lives. The magic moment that reroutes your future in a simple decision. But as my eyes got bigger, I'd keep reading things in this letter, that I wasn't sure I was ready to hear. There was a commitment, yes indeed a BIG one!

I was at a crossroad. Take Him or wait for someone else. The decision, however, was clear and there was no real choice to be made. It was more like a one way street than a crossroad. He promised to listen to me, when everyone failed to understand me.

 

 He'd appreciate my humour, understand my emotions and my demeanour. He promised to never break His promises. Could I really believe Him?

He said this whole world and everything in it was nothing compared to me. His words kept on taking my breath away. He seemed so perfect and I felt so honoured and fortunate. I realised I found the One! As the letter began to conclude, He then beautifully and eloquently said…

"Qul huwa laahu Ahad" (Say: He is Allah, the One.) (Quraan 112:1)

This love letter was the Qur’aan, obviously, and the perfect One indeed is. ..ALLAH, THE GREAT.

You see, before I wrongly assumed this craving for love and understanding needed feeding from a human. And while being fully aware of humans and their flaws and predictabilities, I never saw the One who was always there.

 

 I realised it was Allah that was always will be my first and true love.

 

The point is that we all have this insatiable gap that needs feeding and we're always craving to feel complete. It's an unsettling feeling knowing something's missing. And until we begin to realise that it can only be filled with accepting Allah's love, we'll forever be searching for temporary fixes that promise no certainty.

 

Without any judgement, it's understandable in our modern life age to blindly hunt for short-lived reliefs to numb the nagging aching in our chests – after all, we've been coached since young to seek out quick fixes. But it's no reason to your life's betterment to insist on this sort of addictive cycle.

We don't have to wait until we all eventually reach the moment of 'Heeeelp! My cup runneth over!'. It'd be a good idea to nicely sit your sub-conscious down for a no-nonsense one-on-one family meeting, and make it realise that so long as it goes on autopilot in search of completion in anything or anyone outside of yourself, it and you will always feel unfulfilled and super sucky. Being consistently strong in a new way of thinking, trains your sub-conscious to new automatic patterns. Look for permanent freedom - not temporary relief peeps.

Another point to note is to avoid placing the unrealistic expectation of finding perfection in a partner. Everything we've been conditioned to look for in a spouse, is in Allah in perfection, so rely on Him alone to see to your needs, and share your joys with your spouse.

 

Allah is indeed the Only True Love, He is First and Last, His Love is a beginning without an end, His promises are all true, all we need to do is Love Him  and love for His Sake and when every other Love dims the Love of Allah will still shine bright!

 

Source: eislam

 

The Plight of Muslims Around the World

Ramadhaan and Eid came and went, we fasted, prayed, ate then celebrated, ate some more and then ... life resumed.

Through all of this, Muslims in Syria still faced death and destruction on a daily basis. Then recently, Egypt broke out into protests and the stories which emerged were just one more gruesome than the next.

Although I try to stay away from disturbing imagery recently, sometimes you just come across something on a social network by chance and it really does knock me really hard.

These are some of the sad and heartbreaking  pictures I have come across

 

 Syria

(after a 'chemical attack' claimed the lives of many children)

 

Egypt

 

Link to a Muslimahs tale :Teaching myself how not to lose hope: Amr Kassem

 

Most of us are unable to physically be there and help our Muslim brothers and sisters, though sometimes we may just want to reach into the screen and grab the child in it to comfort him. But nothing stops us from helping them in other ways; from making dua for them to sending money/resources through legitimate organisations.

Appreciate the little ordinary bits of daily life, something these people may have a vague memory of and some may never see. And remember to always say "Alhamdulillah for my life" because no matter how bad it may seem, there's never a time we have nothing to be grateful for.

Exams Are Over

We tumbled out of the exam hall with great haste trying to get as far away from that agonising place. Grateful that it was all over we ran around slapping one another on the back and wishing ourselves good-luck. I saw Paul running to me with great excitement.

“It’s over, man!!” he exclaimed, his large frame towering over me, “What a week, but damn it, it’s over.”

“Yup, it’s been a rough week, but all over,” I answered, “Never want to see another exam in my life!”

“So what you going to do now,” I asked, half knowing the answer after spending six years with Paul at medical school.

“I, my good friend, am going to have a great party tonight. And I am going to drink till I pass out. Then I’ll deal with tomorrow...,” he shouted as he rushed off to greet another classmate.

I felt a little jealous that he could go out and have a great party, do the things he wanted without restrictions. I felt cheated that after having gone through the same agonising week I could not “Just do it!” For me I knew it would be a night of supper with my parents, and then sit with the guys and talk rubbish until the late hours of the morning. Our greatest crime of the night being a couple of cigarettes and some serious junk food.

I didn’t hear about Paul until our class reunion 15 years later. It was a noisy affair with everyone struggling to get their best medical school story remembered. We recounted the strange doings of medical students and some very embarrassing moments like when Jakes fainted onto the patient while examining her and when Jonathan in his nervousness asked a male patient how many times he had been pregnant. Each story brought rounds of raucous laughter until I asked: “Guys, whatever happened to Paul...Paulie....tall guy..er..Sterling”

A hush fell over the table like a damp blanket silencing even the clinking of the cutlery; I shifted awkwardly in my chair. Nervous as an accused in the dock I looked at the silent faces around me not knowing what to say next until Jonathan explain in almost hushed tones... Paul went out drinking that night and got involved in a drunken brawl in which he stabbed a man, he was sentenced to two years in prison and when he got out he was hooked on drugs and committed suicide three years later.

I left the function early that night, my head still quivering with the news of Paul and went straight to my mother’s house. I hugged her a little tighter than usual and she looked at me quizzically but didn’t say a word. Somehow mothers know what lives in their children’s hearts. I then went home and sat at my little daughter’s bedside for a long time. Her sleeping face radiated innocence and I prayed that Allah Ta’ala would give her parents the ability to raise her as my parents had raised us. Despite the pressures of modernisation to change their attitudes they always taught me what was Islamically correct and guided me to the path of Deen.

Sitting in the dim light of her room imagining the pure thoughts and dreams floating in her head and I thanked Allah Ta’ala that He guided us to a path that was filled with benefits in this world and the next. A path that may seem restrictive or narrow, seemingly devoid of the ‘pleasures’ of this world, but one which gave a person dignity and honour in this world, safety and protection at the time of leaving this world, and eternal happiness in the Hereafter. I shivered, not so much from the coolness of the evening, but with the thought of what could have happened to me if I had I joined Paul that night. Would I also have seen my life destroyed in the pursuit of a few moments of pleasure? Rather the restriction of a few moments and pleasure for eternity; than a brief sojourn in luxury and the displeasure of Allah Ta’ala. I kissed my daughter on her tiny forehead and filled with gratitude of being Muslim and recollected a Hadith that explained this better I could ever do:

Abu Musa (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The guidance and knowledge with which Allah has sent me are like abundant rain which fell on a land. A fertile part of it absorbed the water and brought forth profuse herbage and pasture; and solid ground patches which retained the water by which Allah has benefited people, who drank from it, irrigated their crops and sowed their seeds; and another sandy plane which could neither retain the water nor produce herbage. Such is the similitude of the person who becomes well-versed in the religion of Allah and receives benefit from the Message entrusted to me by Allah, so he himself has learned and taught it to others; such is also the similitude of the person who has stubbornly and ignorantly rejected Allah's Guidance with which I have been sent.'' (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Taken from eislam.co.za

Bring On The Next Bestseller

In an age where television and the world-wide-web have taken over our lives,I often get tired of been numbed,dulled and stupified by the media. One cannot argue that we all need to step back and revert to the age-old tradition every once in a while- good ol' literature.

Sure,who doesn't love curling up on that icy day with a large bowl of popcorn,a huge blanket and a good chick-flick. But there's something utterly relaxing about curling up on that icy day with a large bowl of popcorn,a huge blanket and a good BOOK.

Your imagination runs wild,images flash through your head faster than you can turn the page. Try as they may,once you have a good book,the movie/TV series will NEVER do justice (with the exception of one,more about that in another post)

Here are some of my all-time favourites:

The Kite-Runner   by Khaled Hosseini

The Observer could have not phrased it better “Shattering..devastating and inspiring”.We drift through the streets of old Kabul with young and carefree Amir and his loyal friend Hasan as they spend their days making mischief,carving their names on trees and doing what they love best- flying kites. Tragedy,however, strikes on the day that should have been the best day of Amir's life and he finds himself running from the truth,for the rest of his life.

 

A Thousand Splendid Suns   by Khaled Hosseini

A heart-wrenching tale of two women,caught under the rule of bitter Rasheed during the uncertain times of Kabul.Unable to find solace in any corner of their lives,the bond they create between them is that of sisters,inseperable and dependable,inspite of the age difference.Surrounded by misery,hopelessness and starvation,one would imagine it's an each man for himself world,'yet love can move a person to act in unexpected ways,lead them to overcome the most daunting obstacles with startling heroism.In the end it is love that truimphs over death and destruction.'

Mornings in Jenin   by Susan Abulhawa

Un-put-downable.Yet another international bestseller tells the story of fiery little Amal.The story journeys you through three generations of the Abulheja family of Ein Hod,Palestine,capturing each anguish with such power,you simply cannot hold those tears back.

Mornings in Jenin left me reeling for days after.

It was the first of the three that I read and for a long time after,western books about futile and baseless activities such shopping spree's,boyfriend trouble and a broken heel just was not doing it for me. I longed to read more about my fellow Muslims and it brought a heartache to think that,even though each of the books were not based on a true story(though I have a strong feeling that Mornings in Jenin was based on a vast amount of real-life events)it did not make it any less real,those were the kinds of sufferings our brothers and sisters in Islam were enduring.

It must be noted however,that one may have conflicting feelings about some aspects in the books. I feel that the authors were not clear in highlighting the differences between culture and religion.

Also some amazing reads:

Army of Roses   by Barbara Victor
Inside the World of Palestinian Women Suicide Bombers

From My Sister's Lips    by Na'ima Roberts
A book clearly written from the heart.A group of exceptional and strong women take you through their journey to finding Islam.

Happy reading!