How to Raise Righteous Children

Another amazing blog post 

The Muslimah Mommy-How to Raise Righteous Children

Islamic Literature

10 Beautiful Aspects of an Ideal Muslimah

1. Her Obedience to the Creator:

A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness):

Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer’s nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “Haya comes from Imaan; Imaan leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

…And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

3. Her Beauty:

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others.

Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well.

Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness:

Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin ‘Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: “My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron. Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness:

Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer.

‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience:

Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience:

Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Ale Imran: 146)

8. Her Cooking:

Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach”. 

9. Her Contentment with Rizq:

No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported:

The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners:

A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, when she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Taken from Islaaminfo.com 

How To Implement Prayer Within Your Household

I came across this lovely blog about a month ago and am kind of addicted. The posts are so relevant to a young Muslimah juggling with kids,running a home etc

Please check out this post regarding prayer.Something for the young and (g)old

The Muslimah Mommy

The Triple Filter Test

 

During the golden Abbasid period, one of the scholars in Baghdad, the capital of Muslim caliphate at that time, was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great scholar and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

  "Hold on a minute," the scholar replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test." 

"Triple filter?"

  "That's right," the scholar continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

  "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and.." 

"All right," said the scholar. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?" 

"No, on the contrary..."

  "So," the scholar continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?" 

"No, not really." 

"Well," concluded the scholar, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

 

"O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former)" ... (to end of surah) Hujurat 49.12

"And spy not on each other behind their backs..." (to end of surah) Hujurat 49.13

 

Praise be to Allah that we are Muslims...

Finding the One

 

By Sister Taaiebah Ebrahim

As a pretend statistician, I'll say it's statistically proven that females are more prone to being caught up in idealistic romantic notions of love especially since we tend to be more emotional beings and brainwashed by fairytales of damsel’s in distress and the knight in shining armour hype. Naturally, as a young girl, I had far too many self-edited fairytale re-runs constantly playing in my head.  My excitement was always in anticipation of when my prince would romantically woo me, with me being obviously unaware, just as it was in those fables.  

Truth be told, I was always aware that those fables were indeed far from reality, so nothing surprised me and every person seemed fairly predictable. But even so, I hoped for a miracle - someone original to sweep me off my feet.

And then I was approached…I was given the longest love letter, ever. I was flattered that Someone had taken the time to write to me and was most definitely intrigued. But - I didn't really know Him. So I thought, at least let me, hear Him out, after all, there was a great amount of effort put into this letter.

 

In all honesty, it was quite entertaining. The letter reflected warmth, beauty, bravery, it was so inspiring. It was like a dream sometimes where good battled and won over evil. There were heroes overcoming their weaknesses, there were love stories (my favourite) and other stuff, but really, the whole thing was about me. I knew this because my name was written all over the place. I was totally in tuned with the Author and was taken aback at how He knew so much about me.

Everyday I got presents from Him too. Now, I'm not the type to get bought over, but these gifts were too nice to return to sender, if you know what I mean.

So, I'd read portions of His letter everyday...and to be honest, gifts aside, He really started growing on me and the more I'd read His letter, the more attached I became to Him. Even though I didn't meet Him yet, I really started to like Him. The more I read, the more love I felt . He seemed to tick all the right boxes; He was knowledgeable, spoke about every topic relevant from animals to society and its challenges. He always made me feel so special by making reference to me, all the time. He would go on and on about how He would do anything for me… I just had to ask. So that was nice.

 

He got me thinking. I mean this was it. It's the moment we wait for our whole lives. The magic moment that reroutes your future in a simple decision. But as my eyes got bigger, I'd keep reading things in this letter, that I wasn't sure I was ready to hear. There was a commitment, yes indeed a BIG one!

I was at a crossroad. Take Him or wait for someone else. The decision, however, was clear and there was no real choice to be made. It was more like a one way street than a crossroad. He promised to listen to me, when everyone failed to understand me.

 

 He'd appreciate my humour, understand my emotions and my demeanour. He promised to never break His promises. Could I really believe Him?

He said this whole world and everything in it was nothing compared to me. His words kept on taking my breath away. He seemed so perfect and I felt so honoured and fortunate. I realised I found the One! As the letter began to conclude, He then beautifully and eloquently said…

"Qul huwa laahu Ahad" (Say: He is Allah, the One.) (Quraan 112:1)

This love letter was the Qur’aan, obviously, and the perfect One indeed is. ..ALLAH, THE GREAT.

You see, before I wrongly assumed this craving for love and understanding needed feeding from a human. And while being fully aware of humans and their flaws and predictabilities, I never saw the One who was always there.

 

 I realised it was Allah that was always will be my first and true love.

 

The point is that we all have this insatiable gap that needs feeding and we're always craving to feel complete. It's an unsettling feeling knowing something's missing. And until we begin to realise that it can only be filled with accepting Allah's love, we'll forever be searching for temporary fixes that promise no certainty.

 

Without any judgement, it's understandable in our modern life age to blindly hunt for short-lived reliefs to numb the nagging aching in our chests – after all, we've been coached since young to seek out quick fixes. But it's no reason to your life's betterment to insist on this sort of addictive cycle.

We don't have to wait until we all eventually reach the moment of 'Heeeelp! My cup runneth over!'. It'd be a good idea to nicely sit your sub-conscious down for a no-nonsense one-on-one family meeting, and make it realise that so long as it goes on autopilot in search of completion in anything or anyone outside of yourself, it and you will always feel unfulfilled and super sucky. Being consistently strong in a new way of thinking, trains your sub-conscious to new automatic patterns. Look for permanent freedom - not temporary relief peeps.

Another point to note is to avoid placing the unrealistic expectation of finding perfection in a partner. Everything we've been conditioned to look for in a spouse, is in Allah in perfection, so rely on Him alone to see to your needs, and share your joys with your spouse.

 

Allah is indeed the Only True Love, He is First and Last, His Love is a beginning without an end, His promises are all true, all we need to do is Love Him  and love for His Sake and when every other Love dims the Love of Allah will still shine bright!

 

Source: eislam

 

The Plight of Muslims Around the World

Ramadhaan and Eid came and went, we fasted, prayed, ate then celebrated, ate some more and then ... life resumed.

Through all of this, Muslims in Syria still faced death and destruction on a daily basis. Then recently, Egypt broke out into protests and the stories which emerged were just one more gruesome than the next.

Although I try to stay away from disturbing imagery recently, sometimes you just come across something on a social network by chance and it really does knock me really hard.

These are some of the sad and heartbreaking  pictures I have come across

 

 Syria

(after a 'chemical attack' claimed the lives of many children)

 

Egypt

 

Link to a Muslimahs tale :Teaching myself how not to lose hope: Amr Kassem

 

Most of us are unable to physically be there and help our Muslim brothers and sisters, though sometimes we may just want to reach into the screen and grab the child in it to comfort him. But nothing stops us from helping them in other ways; from making dua for them to sending money/resources through legitimate organisations.

Appreciate the little ordinary bits of daily life, something these people may have a vague memory of and some may never see. And remember to always say "Alhamdulillah for my life" because no matter how bad it may seem, there's never a time we have nothing to be grateful for.

Exciting Times Ahead

Assalaam after what seems like ages again.Sometimes life just gets a hold on you and refuses to let go.

The past couple of months have been exciting-I completed a course I had been eager to do for many years, started my training and training kind of came to a halt when I discovered that soon I would be joining the ranks of those fierce and brave soldiers- motherhood!

Alhamdulillah! You think getting married is exciting until this stuff hits you. You really want to just scream it to the world but thanks to Indian mums and grandmothers,you have to gag it for a while (three months to be exact).Then the real fun starts- nausea.....

It's a time where everyone kind of pampers you,you can sit at the supper table long after all the dishes have been cleared and no-one glances disapprovingly at your laziness. You shouldn't bend,stretch,walk too fast and heaven forbid you try to wear those gorgeous new heels!

Your freezer get stocked 'so that you don't have to cook the weekend' (thanks mum-in-law) and pots magically appear on your stove before hubby gets home (thanks mum).

But all that really doesn't compare to the amazing feeling of knowing Allah chose you to bear and raise one of his Prophets' Ummati.It truly is an honour and sometimes you wonder if you will be able to fulfil your role adequately. But hey,all we can do is make dua and try our best!

The hardest part about it,I guess,would be telling those close to you,who have been unable to have children of their own. You want to share your good news with them but at the same time worry about how it's going to make them feel inside. But again,all we can do is make dua to Allah to bless them with children of their own if that is what's best for them and keep them happy.
A wise person once told me that while everyone may want children,not everyone is put on this Earth to have.Sometimes Allah has a better plan for those people; they are to serve Allah's Deen and bring people closer to Allah,something they may have not been able to do,if they had children..And their reward is definitely on the Day of Qiyaamah.

Allah knows best..

In the meantime,here are some lovely looking nurseries I found online. They were actually found on a post suggesting nursery ideas for the new Royal baby,but I think it's fit for a Muslim prince/princess !!


Keep me and the Ummah in your dua's

 

 

*Unfortunately can't remember which website,if anyone does know,please email me so that I may credit it

Exams Are Over

We tumbled out of the exam hall with great haste trying to get as far away from that agonising place. Grateful that it was all over we ran around slapping one another on the back and wishing ourselves good-luck. I saw Paul running to me with great excitement.

“It’s over, man!!” he exclaimed, his large frame towering over me, “What a week, but damn it, it’s over.”

“Yup, it’s been a rough week, but all over,” I answered, “Never want to see another exam in my life!”

“So what you going to do now,” I asked, half knowing the answer after spending six years with Paul at medical school.

“I, my good friend, am going to have a great party tonight. And I am going to drink till I pass out. Then I’ll deal with tomorrow...,” he shouted as he rushed off to greet another classmate.

I felt a little jealous that he could go out and have a great party, do the things he wanted without restrictions. I felt cheated that after having gone through the same agonising week I could not “Just do it!” For me I knew it would be a night of supper with my parents, and then sit with the guys and talk rubbish until the late hours of the morning. Our greatest crime of the night being a couple of cigarettes and some serious junk food.

I didn’t hear about Paul until our class reunion 15 years later. It was a noisy affair with everyone struggling to get their best medical school story remembered. We recounted the strange doings of medical students and some very embarrassing moments like when Jakes fainted onto the patient while examining her and when Jonathan in his nervousness asked a male patient how many times he had been pregnant. Each story brought rounds of raucous laughter until I asked: “Guys, whatever happened to Paul...Paulie....tall guy..er..Sterling”

A hush fell over the table like a damp blanket silencing even the clinking of the cutlery; I shifted awkwardly in my chair. Nervous as an accused in the dock I looked at the silent faces around me not knowing what to say next until Jonathan explain in almost hushed tones... Paul went out drinking that night and got involved in a drunken brawl in which he stabbed a man, he was sentenced to two years in prison and when he got out he was hooked on drugs and committed suicide three years later.

I left the function early that night, my head still quivering with the news of Paul and went straight to my mother’s house. I hugged her a little tighter than usual and she looked at me quizzically but didn’t say a word. Somehow mothers know what lives in their children’s hearts. I then went home and sat at my little daughter’s bedside for a long time. Her sleeping face radiated innocence and I prayed that Allah Ta’ala would give her parents the ability to raise her as my parents had raised us. Despite the pressures of modernisation to change their attitudes they always taught me what was Islamically correct and guided me to the path of Deen.

Sitting in the dim light of her room imagining the pure thoughts and dreams floating in her head and I thanked Allah Ta’ala that He guided us to a path that was filled with benefits in this world and the next. A path that may seem restrictive or narrow, seemingly devoid of the ‘pleasures’ of this world, but one which gave a person dignity and honour in this world, safety and protection at the time of leaving this world, and eternal happiness in the Hereafter. I shivered, not so much from the coolness of the evening, but with the thought of what could have happened to me if I had I joined Paul that night. Would I also have seen my life destroyed in the pursuit of a few moments of pleasure? Rather the restriction of a few moments and pleasure for eternity; than a brief sojourn in luxury and the displeasure of Allah Ta’ala. I kissed my daughter on her tiny forehead and filled with gratitude of being Muslim and recollected a Hadith that explained this better I could ever do:

Abu Musa (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The guidance and knowledge with which Allah has sent me are like abundant rain which fell on a land. A fertile part of it absorbed the water and brought forth profuse herbage and pasture; and solid ground patches which retained the water by which Allah has benefited people, who drank from it, irrigated their crops and sowed their seeds; and another sandy plane which could neither retain the water nor produce herbage. Such is the similitude of the person who becomes well-versed in the religion of Allah and receives benefit from the Message entrusted to me by Allah, so he himself has learned and taught it to others; such is also the similitude of the person who has stubbornly and ignorantly rejected Allah's Guidance with which I have been sent.'' (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Taken from eislam.co.za

Pretty Pink Skies

 

October marks a very special time to many of us; Breast Cancer Awareness  Month.A time to celebrate those brave women (and men) who fought valiantly,those who are still fighting and those who lost their lives to it.

 

I was thrilled yesterday just before sunset to see the skies honouring these brave souls too!My fingers could not resist and there I was snapping away!

 

Subhanallah!