Friday, October 24, 2014

10 Beautiful Aspects of an Ideal Muslimah

1. Her Obedience to the Creator:

A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness):

Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer’s nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “Haya comes from Imaan; Imaan leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
…And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

3. Her Beauty:

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others.
Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well.

Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.
When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness:

Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin ‘Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: “My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron. Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness:

Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer.

‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience:

Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience:

Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Ale Imran: 146)

8. Her Cooking:

Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach”. 

9. Her Contentment with Rizq:

No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported:
The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners:

A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, when she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Taken from 

How To Implement Prayer Within Your Household

I came across this lovely blog about a month ago and am kind of addicted. The posts are so relevant to a young Muslimah juggling with kids,running a home etc
Please check out this post regarding prayer.Something for the young and (g)old

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Where Is That Exclamation Mark?

So there I was, desperately searching for the exclamation mark on my laptops keyboard, and it dawned on me how bad the situation was. I had not blogged in over a year and as my little boy's first birthday (what!!) loomed, I knew I had to regain a little bit of who I was. It will never be the same, no freedom; the voluntary late nights;the lazy mornings,but I felt the need to do something for myself,a little bit of an escape..
Around 10pm on Monday,the 25th of November last year, Muhammad Khuwaylid was born.After an exhausting two days,the weird feeling of catching sight of a flat(ish) stomach and looking into this little persons eyes before the nurse whisked him away for the night, was over-whelming.
I have grown up emmensly in the past 10 and a half months and there was the fair share of tears,frustration,moments of joy watching him smile,roll over,grab a toy for the first time,laughter watching him learn how to stand, fat little toes digging deeply into the carpet,little temper tantrums (from both of us "just go to sleep!" "I DONT WANT TO!")
I may have a long way to go,but hopefully with patience and perseverance, I won't be making too many mistakes InshaAllah.. Here's to the beginning! 

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Haraam Police

I follow quite a few Muslim bloggers,for various different reasons;some for their amazing fashion sense,some for inspiration and some just because of their hilarious outlook on life.

I'm not one to comment on their pictures,posts etc very often unless I feel the need to or it's something I really like.One thing I try to refrain from is commenting when I feel strongly against something. I've seen some well-intended comments regarding this and have also witnessed some disgustingly harsh,cruel,insensitive or totally unnecessary responses,sometimes all of the above in one comment.

Why fellow Muslimah's (and males,mind you!) feel the need to publicly bring down a Muslim sister is beyond me,it makes you wonder whatever happened to sisterhood and concealing another Muslims faults.I've always maintained that if you feel strongly about something,you can get your message across in a very polite manner.If the person still gets insulted,well then.

A term I've become familiar with is 'the Haraam Police' referring to those individuals,regardless of how they have put their message across,who are immediately 'atttacked' for pointing out a wrong (whether it may be or not) in something someone said,did,wore etc Islamically.

Granted,sometimes you just have to shut up and make a silent dua for the person.But after seeing a recent online argument where one sister very politely,with smiley emoticons etc pointed out something that was inappropriate for a Muslim,get smashed down by the blogger and her 'folllowers',I was slightly disgusted.
Opinions are shaped by upbringing,experiences etc.So,no two people in the world are going to agree 100% on every aspect.That's what makes us all unique.But part of been adult is respecting that the other persons opinion may differ to yours and then move on.

As Muslims,we are constantly striving to better ourselves.So when someone offers some advice,whether you agree with the advice given or not,thank the person and then do what you want with the information-discard or act upon.

The blogger was clearly peeved about been corrected and said that daily she must deal with people constantly picking on her life and finding faults.Well,you know what?Been a blogger,anonymous or not,means putting a part of your life out there,and human nature is to judge.Then came the 'HARAAM POLICE'  comments.

If you can't handle the heat,get out of the fire.And if you still want to stay,be gracious and act like a lady..Just some advice ;)

Friday, November 8, 2013

To Believe in Yourself or Not

Inspiration and courage can come from the most unexpected of places..Places,or people we tend to overlook often.Recently,mine came in the shape of my 7-year-old nephew.

He was telling me about his recent cricket training, using words like rotation and others that escape me now. Anyways,the story goes something like this ...

"..and then it was our turn to bat,so I told my friend;he's nine,that I was worried because I didn't know how to bat properly.
So he told me 'Just believe in yourself' and I did,I went to bat and I hit so many!"

I stared in amazement at this little person who had a fear,a second little person who encouraged him,and then this first little person who took that encouragement without a backward glance and went for it,tackled his fear and overcame!

I suddenly longed to have the spirit of a child. They also have their worries,they may seem little to us but are huge deals to them,yet are so keen and eager to overcome whatever is in their way.

How often don't we shoot down encouragement when someone offers it,saying it just wont happen or making excuses why it wont work. How often are we even willing to encourage others anymore??

Growing up  has made us pessimists,looking for faults,reasons not to succeed,reasons to run away and not try harder or at all.

I hope to remember this story for a long long time to come and hope my nephew always keeps his child-like bravery all through the years!